What If
by RocksandCoffee
Summary: A little tweak to the 3rd season episode, "To Love and Die in LA," for Castle FanFic Monday. Complete.


What If

Disclaimer: Not mine, thank goodness.

A/N: Just a little something I dusted off for Castle FanFic Monday. :) Hope you enjoy!

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Kate's hand stays on the doorknob. Part of her desperately wants to go back into the common room with Castle, but then what?

Why is she fighting this? He's right there, waiting on her. All she has to do is open the door and go back out. But what if she goes out, what will change?

What if-? She rolls her eyes, so tired of the conflict between her heart and mind. Her fingers tighten around the lever and she takes one deep breath.

And another.

Slowly, she opens the door, heart pounding, just as Castle is closing his, but he stops.

Their eyes meet, and in that moment, that precise instant, time stops.

So much is conveyed in Castle's expression, the way his eyes pour over her, she's doing the same thing to him.

Kate's not sure when or how they move, but suddenly, she and Castle are both back in the room, standing inches apart. Still taking each other in, their breathing ragged.

Slowly, Castle reaches for her, but she his hand in hers and places it above her heart. His slight gasp as he touches her makes her stomach flutter, and now she's speechless.

"Kate..." he whispers, her name rumbles in his chest, setting her blood on fire.

Kate's mouth is dry and she swallows hard, "Rick?" She didn't mean for his name to sound like a question, but now it's out there, waiting on him to respond.

He smiles a little, this sweet smile she's seen him wear only a few times before, but it's the first time it's only for her. It's now difficult to decide whether to continue looking into his eyes or to watch his lips.

Kate takes one of her hands and caresses his cheek, and of course, he leans into it, just as she always imagined. His cheek is a little scruffy, and she closes her eyes and feels the stubble scraping against her palm. It's surprising how much power is held in such a simple touch.

Her eyes are still closed, and she's aware of Rick pulling his hand away from her. She misses the warmth on her chest and starts to open her eyes.

His fingers feather across her eyelids, "Keep them closed," he breathes into her ear, sending chills all over. Kate wants to see what he's doing, but somehow manages to obey.

Castle cradles her head in his hands, then he moves them away, effectively running his fingers through her long hair. She could hear him exhale as if he'd held is breath until this movement of his hands.

When the ends of her hair have finished falling from his fingers, he sighs again, "Kate, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that; how difficult it is to not touch you sometimes."

Kate opens her eyes and moves her hands to his chest, raking her fingernails lightly against the fabric of his shirt. "I think I understand more than you think," she says, then slides her hands upward and around his neck.

He leans his head forward, and she meets him half way, their foreheads gently touching. Castle's hands are now on her hips and she can't imagine ever feeling so complete as she does right now. His hands are a perfect fit for her, and she looks up to see hers seem to be the same for him. They stay like this for a time, basking in each other.

She strokes her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling him shiver. She smiles in response, "You like?"

Castle nods and leans a little more toward her, but she moves back just a step. Kate can see the mild disappointment in his eyes and smiles. She knows what she's going to do next, and he'll definitely like it, the sentiment, if nothing else.

She takes his left hand and brings back of his fingers to her lips. He sighs again, and slowly she starts moving his fingers and hand into a position where the index and middle fingers are extended and his thumb holds the others down.

The questioning look on his face is already priceless, especially when she does the same with her right hand and touches her fingertips to his.

After a few moments, realization starts to glitter in his eyes, as she slowly moves her fingers over the tops of his and gently strokes down the back of his hand and circles back to the beginning.

Castle moans as he takes his turn, stroking his fingers across hers. "You are so geeky-sexy, it hurts."

She smiles and traces his again, noticing how such a small thing as this touch can be such a turn-on. "I'm not sure how I should take that..."

"Oh, it's definitely good," he breaths, taking his turn again, "but if we continue this, this Pon-farr hand-thingy, does it mean we can't do this, or whatever may follow, again for seven years? Because if that's the case, I might explode."

Kate chuckles deep in her throat at his amusement, and is proud she can do this to him. "I guess time will tell."

His lips are on hers and she can't complain. It's what she's been leading up to, and she isn't sure if Castle is going to give in.

He stops and gazes deeply into her eyes, "What about Josh? I can't do this if.. if..."

Kate doesn't blame him for asking. "He's gone, Rick. He's been gone a long time."

Not entirely the truth, but close enough. Josh has been absent for so much of their relationship, she wonders if there really was ever anything of a relationship to begin with.

If anything, her admission fueled Castle's advances. He's definitely given in.

She loves the feel of his hands and lips all over her. She is so high on him, she can't even tell where his attention is from one moment to the next. He's everywhere and she's everywhere and it's exhilarating.

They find themselves on the couch, entangled in each other, and it feels good. It feels right.

Right now, it's all that matters. She doesn't have a care in the world, except for the man laying with her - for Castle, who is showing her what it feels like to fly.

And as the heaviness of sleep takes her, she lays her head on his chest, taking comfort in the beating of his heart.

The heart that she knows only beats like this for her.


End file.
